The Three Kick Rule

Fawlty · 06-25-2013, 04:07 PM

THE SCOTTISH 'Three Kick Rule'

A London, UK lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire in the north of Scotland.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes up here in the north. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'

The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
–
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear-end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(love this part...)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.
When you're intelligent, you know which half.

northsidegz · 07-15-2013, 01:50 PM

LOL. That's good.

Rookie Rider · 07-15-2013, 06:35 PM

Lmao

ovilc88 · 07-16-2013, 01:56 AM

Oh man!!! LOL!!

mrlmd1 · 07-17-2013, 10:25 AM

The lawyer deserved it, right?

northsidegz · 07-17-2013, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrlmd1

The lawyer deserved it, right?

Is there a lawyer that doesn't deserve it? :poke2:

namari · 07-17-2013, 01:49 PM

Good one! That's good ol' fashion humor there.

06-25-2013, 04:07 PM	#1
Fawlty Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Murcia, Spain Posts: 683	The Three Kick Rule THE SCOTTISH 'Three Kick Rule' A London, UK lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire in the north of Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes up here in the north. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! – His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear-end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." (love this part...) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. When you're intelligent, you know which half. __________________ "It begins here for me on this road. How the whole mess happened I don't know, but I know it couldn't happen again in a million years." (Johnny Strabbler-The Wild One 1953) Login or Register to Remove Ads
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07-15-2013, 01:50 PM	#2
northsidegz Senior Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 305	Re: The Three Kick Rule LOL. That's good. __________________ 1982 Suzuki GS450 Bobber (SOLD) 2000 Suzuki GZ250 (SOLD) 1998 Kawasaki Vulcan 800A (Present Ride)
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07-15-2013, 06:35 PM	#3
Rookie Rider Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Queens, NYC Posts: 1,263	Re: The Three Kick Rule Lmao Login or Register to Remove Ads
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07-16-2013, 01:56 AM	#4
ovilc88 Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Coral Springs, FL Posts: 73	Re: The Three Kick Rule Oh man!!! LOL!! __________________ "Marty! We have to go back into the future!" Doc Brown
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07-17-2013, 10:25 AM	#5
mrlmd1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Crawfordville, Florida Posts: 2,853	Re: The Three Kick Rule The lawyer deserved it, right? Login or Register to Remove Ads
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07-17-2013, 01:49 PM	#7
namari Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 17	Re: The Three Kick Rule Good one! That's good ol' fashion humor there. __________________ '99 GZ250 Get on your bike and ride!
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