12-26-2009, 02:05 PM
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#1 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Crawfordville, Florida
Posts: 2,853
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Stimulus check
Just in case you get a check....
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ? A. Shut up or you don't get your check. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending Your stimulus check wisely: 1 If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China . 2 If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia . 3 If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .. 4 If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . 5 If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea . 6 If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan . 7 If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts. Instead, you can keep the money in America by: 1 Spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or 2 Going to baseball or football games, or 3 Hiring prostitutes, or 4 Buying cheap beer or 5 Getting tattoos. These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US . Conclusion: The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed. Login or Register to Remove Ads |
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12-26-2009, 08:16 PM
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#2 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Louisville, TN
Posts: 1,413
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Re: Stimulus check
IN...
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Jerry Truth is there are lots of great bikes available and not nearly as many good riders out there riding them... "A man's got to know his limitations..." |
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12-27-2009, 09:09 AM
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#3 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Merrimack NH USA
Posts: 722
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Re: Stimulus check
Why is this under humor?
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12-27-2009, 09:32 AM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Crawfordville, Florida
Posts: 2,853
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Re: Stimulus check
That's funnier than the post. :2tup: :haha2:
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12-27-2009, 12:50 PM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Merrimack NH USA
Posts: 722
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Re: Stimulus check
It made me laugh so hard I cried. Or was it the other way around?
Your conclusion does sound like a fun day, though. Especially if you take a fairly liberal view of the term "Ball Game".
__________________
54 HD Hummer,64 Honda150,66 Ducati250,01 Vulcan500,02 Vulcan1500,83 Nighthawk650,91 K75,95 VLX,04 VLX,01 GS500E,01 Ninja250, 02 Rebel,04 Ninja500,06 Concours,96 R850R Login or Register to Remove Ads |
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12-27-2009, 03:25 PM
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#6 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Crawfordville, Florida
Posts: 2,853
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Re: Stimulus check
As I said before, :2tup: :haha2:
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01-13-2010, 11:08 PM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 334
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Re: Stimulus check
hahahahahaha...................
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“God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful: he makes saints out of sinners.” “People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand my complaint about them not understanding me.” --- Søren Kierkegaard --- |
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