Helmet for sale on Ebay, and a life story to boot

[Dupo]

Now this i find hilarious... haha... copied from an older ebay listing for a helmet.

-------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------

This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to

small for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from

the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since

i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're

great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has

big boobs, and loves motorcycles. I gotta snag this one up

quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave her the engagement

ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle hint, you know,

that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that band costs

just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans going on,

i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the state

looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and

picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't

ridden my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of

her sight for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it.

Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like

no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced dramatically. A

man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the bike, thinking

that things will get better. She promises me, that as soon as we get

married, she'll get a good job, and then i can get another bike. We

get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is good. The Evil One

is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to believe that

she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out

for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really

don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the

kicker�She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was

on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave

her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is

Italian). Fast Foward 9 months�i'm out breaking my back doing manual

labor, she's a big, fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition

of a rabid Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The

day she gave birth, i thought again, that things will change for the

better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle.

Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is when i see her breast

feeding the little bastard! I'm going crazy, at least if i had a

motorcycle, i could take out some of my frustration. Even the guys at

work notice how miserable i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a

brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted

another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would like

to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the first time i

lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash my

check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a

while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to

the bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see

this little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the

eye contact is getting more and more frequent. After a few more

minutes, she walks over to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles.

That they get her "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride.

Her beautifully full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that

as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She straps

on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away we go. We ride for

hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her apartment is on

the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and have another

beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't keep

my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when

old hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned

into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and

she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right

then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a

miserable existance for the rest of my life and something had to be

done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast of a wife. (She's done

good since i left. She remarried an Appliance salesman named Harold.)

While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I don't ever want to

be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a

motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and

i would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL ONLY.

Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or

Negative Feedback Bidders.

[JUnderscore]

I got a chuckle out of that one. Wish I could've seen the original eBay listing.

Of course, I'm always skeptical when I come across something like this online.
"I cannot see it. Therefore, it does not exist."

Funny nonetheless.

[SimbasDaddy]

This is just too funny to imagine!!!

DELETED