The waiter.

[blaine]

I was having dinner in a restaurant and during the meal I knocked a teaspoon off my table accidentally. In the blink of an eye, a waiter was there, and he replaced my spoon.
"Wow," I said. "That was fast. How did you know I would need a spoon?"
"The manager had an efficiency expert in," replied the waiter. "He told us that the most common piece of cutlery that people drop is a teaspoon. So we have all been trained to keep an extra teaspoon in our lapel pocket, so we don't waste steps going to the kitchen to get one."
I was impressed, but forgot about it as the dinner conversation continued.
However a short while later, I noticed our waiter walk by and that he had a piece of string sticking out the fly of his pants. I motioned him over and whispered to him about the string.
"Oh, don't worry about that," he said. "The same expert told us that we use an inordinate amount of time in the washroom, washing our hands after we pee. He had us put the string there and tie it to our johnson so that we can just pull it out without touching it and then we don't have to wash our hands."
Again I was impressed, but then a thought occured to me. "How do you put it back in your pants?" I asked.
The waiter leaned over and whispered "I don't know about the rest of the guys .... but I use the spoon!"
:cool: