They stole my bungie cords....

[mrlmd1]

David Brenner (older comedian from our youth) had a schtick about trying to get rid of an old leather wingback chair.
First he tried to sell it, no offers.
He wanted to throw it out but the garbage men wanted $50 to haul it away, so,
he put it on his front porch with a sign that said "Antique Panamanian Reading Chair. $300,"
and somebody stole it.
Mission accomplished.

By the way, if it's an older analog TV, nobody even wants those things anymore, you have to pay to dispose of it at the dump.