A Groaner

mrlmd1 · 05-25-2011, 11:48 AM

Blaine hasn't been here for a couple of days, so here goes "a groaner", for revenge.

MURDER AT WALMART

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and
then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side
underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained
to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he
wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front,
so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that
rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super
Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department &
proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor
unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the
manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol'
Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by
the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and
arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the
whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
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>(You're going to hate me for this...)
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>'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'
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>Oh, quit groaning!

geezer · 05-25-2011, 04:08 PM

oh god! :lol:

Water Warrior 2 · 05-25-2011, 05:14 PM

Artie should have known Wally World is full of cameras. But he could cop an insanity plea for doing the deed for a buck.

blaine · 05-25-2011, 05:31 PM

:tongue:

05-25-2011, 11:48 AM	#1
mrlmd1 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Crawfordville, Florida Posts: 2,853	A Groaner Blaine hasn't been here for a couple of days, so here goes "a groaner", for revenge. MURDER AT WALMART Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared... > > > > > > >(You're going to hate me for this...) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!' > > > > > > > >Oh, quit groaning! Login or Register to Remove Ads
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05-25-2011, 04:08 PM	#2
geezer Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: dahlonega GA Posts: 563	Re: A Groaner oh god! :lol: __________________ 99 gz 250 and a currently dismantled fzr 1000
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05-25-2011, 05:14 PM	#3
Water Warrior 2 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Squamish B.C Canada Posts: 11,409	Re: A Groaner Artie should have known Wally World is full of cameras. But he could cop an insanity plea for doing the deed for a buck. Login or Register to Remove Ads
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05-25-2011, 05:31 PM	#4
blaine Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: P.E.I. Canada Posts: 3,784	Re: A Groaner :tongue: __________________ If at first you do succeed, try not to look surprised.
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