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Originally Posted by Jenny
Now I always ram down twice on first and check at stop lights as well as when I'm parking!
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Hmmm....sorry to jump in with a negative comment but I think you are developing a bad habit (ramming/jamming on the transmission shift lever) to solve a situation that could be handled much better with different methods. Repeatedly stomping on the shift lever is sure to damage something eventually.
I have noticed all the same things you mentioned; I assume it's just the nature of the beast.
For me, at least, the clutch is the key to most of the transmission quirks.
If you want to be sure you actually ARE in 1st, just let the clutch out a tad to see if it starts to pull or not.
If you are having trouble downshifting from neutral, engage the clutch for a second and try again.
As for the shift from 1 to 2, putting a little toe tension on the lever BEFORE the shift helps a lot. Once you find the right tension (if under power, you can pull against the lever harder than you might think) the shift will just "happen" when you roll off the throttle and pull in the clutch. This works for the other upward gear changes too.