A big + for patience and persistence. Hang in there Iffy. :tup:

So my blacksmith friend was able to get the bolts out. He wound up cracking the aluminum on one of the holes, but it was on the outer part and he welded it some.

Ever since I refilled my oil, I've been noticing a fair amount of drippage coming from the bottom of the generator cover, so I opened that up to have a look, and opened the crank case also to make sure that the damage from the camshaft snap/low oil situation there.
The generator cover's gasket was all crappy, so I ordered a new one, along with some other gaskets I seemed to need and I waited for them to arrive.

Today they came in and I went to go put them on, however, when I was trying to put the generator cover back on, I cracked it, so... yeah... new thing to fix/replace.
https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/...07896631_n.jpg
Whatchu think, whole new cover needed, or what?

Any other idiot traps I need to look out for when putting the bike back together?

2 of the bolts have an aliment bushings, use thous bolts to sit the cover on please then tide all the bolts even.
Do not over tide or you strip the treads

Trying to decide whether to jump on this '99 Cover for $12.26 or to attempt to JB Weld

I'm not sure what you're referring to.
I think you meant
"2 of the bolts have alignment bushings, use those bolts to sit the cover on, then tighten all the bolts evenly.
Do not over tighten or you will strip the threads" Is that right? (I am not trying to make fun of you, just trying to make sure I'm interpreting your writing correctly)

Which ones are the ones with alignment (or ailment, if I'm misunderstanding you)
bushings? Are those the cylinder thingies that stick out?

The alignment bushing might also be thought of as an alignment pin. Not sure cause I've never had the pleasure of taking a cover of a GZ. But as Raul mentioned, tighten the bolts evenly and do not try the Strongman act on them. Aluminum doesn't play well with over tightening.

Might be a lot simpler than JB weld.

You are almost there. You should get a gz250 mechanics certificate from Suzuki for all that your going through. :)

Replacement cover finally arrived today. Now having trouble getting damned magneto bolts out of the old one *rabble rabble rabble*
Why would they need to be so friggin' tight?

impact driver is the correct tool