Life's Rules

[Water Warrior 2]

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and sh*thead's.

[blaine]

There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and sh*thead's.
Yea,I was called worse than sh#thead. :) :whistle:

[mrlmd1]

"Better to have loved and lost than spend the rest of your life with a psycho". :2tup:

Sorry to ask, but, you're not going through that trauma and tragedy now, are you? :cry: :cry:

[Water Warrior 2]

Been there done that twice. SO and I are just happy to be together and have never had harsh words. Why take a chance with a marriage license that seems to be the root to all the problems. Or maybe with age comes wisdom.

[Water Warrior 2]

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

[mrlmd1]

Couples that stay together do so because they want to, not because they have to.
Sometimes marriage, if there's no kids. can ruin a perfectly good relationship.
I've been there, done that, more than once, and am with you now feeling the same way.
And it's much better when neither one of us (or you two) wants to get married, makes life much less complicated in my view.

[Water Warrior 2]

I live in my own little world, but it is okay everyone knows me here.

[Water Warrior 2]

I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. I said "Thyroid problem ?"

[alantf]

I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. I said "Thyroid problem ?"

I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. I said "Just plain greedy"

We were in a restaurant a while back. We had fish & chips, and there was sufficient for us to be full up. A "fat family" came in, & we wondered why they sat at two tables. When the waitress brought the food, we could see why. It wouldn't all fit on one table. Soup, bread, extra bread, a large meal each, extra chips, extra bread, pudding, cakes. The list went on & on. What they ate in one meal I couldn't - honestly - eat in a week. :cry:

[Water Warrior 2]

Sounds like family that has no concept of moderation. Walking heart attacks victims.

[Water Warrior 2]

I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up real fast.

[grego]

there's an old saying "life's a bitch and then you marry one". and divorces are expense but there worth it !

[Water Warrior 2]

there's an old saying "life's a bitch and then you marry one". and divorces are expense but there worth it !
Ahh, you have met my first wife no doubt.

[Water Warrior 2]

Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

[Water Warrior 2]

I got a sweater for Xmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

[Water Warrior 2]

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the Terminal ??

[alantf]

"Excuse me, but do your aircraft crash very often?"

"No, just the once"

[blaine]

If black boxes survive air crashes -- why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than to be up there wishing you were down here.
:tongue: :cool:

[mrlmd1]

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need one to go skydiving twice.

[mrlmd1]

No trees were destroyed in the creation and delivery of this message. However a large number of electrons were significantly inconvenienced.

[KrazeeMyke]

" Sometimes the path you're on is not as important as the direction your heading "

[mrlmd1]

Some people spend so much time being clever, they have no time to be wise.


Beware - your knight in shiny armor may really be an a$$hole in tinfoil.

[Water Warrior 2]

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected

[Colton74442]

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

[Water Warrior 2]

The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade in value.

[Water Warrior 2]

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

[Water Warrior 2]

That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told my friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have Schiffer Brains.

[Water Warrior 2]

No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

[Water Warrior 2]

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you are in bed with a relative.

[Water Warrior 2]

Why is it that nudists are people you don't want to see naked ???

[mrlmd1]

From comedian Stephen Wright - something to think about.
When a blind person takes a crap and wipes his butt, how does he know when he's done?
Honey, can you come here and proof read this for me?

Sorry about that, WW made me remember that one.

[Water Warrior 2]

Yeah, how do they know ??? Sniff sniff ??

[Water Warrior 2]

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

[blaine]

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Wine does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk!"
:) :tongue:

[Water Warrior 2]

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.

[Water Warrior 2]

Oh my I feel like a dumb twit today. I just noticed that the rules were actually posted here earlier by Blaine and I printed them off to keep. Then I started the Life's Rules thread. My apologies to Blaine. Maybe next time I will read the top of a printed page to see where it came from.
Last Life Rule: Don't assume anything or you will feel like a twit later on.

[blaine]

Oh my I feel like a dumb twit today. I just noticed that the rules were actually posted here earlier by Blaine and I printed them off to keep. Then I started the Life's Rules thread. My apologies to Blaine. Maybe next time I will read the top of a printed page to see where it came from.
Last Life Rule: Don't assume anything or you will feel like a twit later on.
No problem!! :2tup: :)