Age Old Philosophical Question

[dhgeyer]

If a man says something in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

[Viirin]

haha i like it

[bonehead]

In my experience, the answer to that question is always "YES".

[alantf]

I'll ask my missus.

[bonehead]

Wait. I think we're missing the true point here. You in the dog house Dave?

[dhgeyer]

Wait. I think we're missing the true point here. You in the dog house Dave?

Not at all, but thank you for asking. There just hadn't been any jokes in a while.

Or, as Alan said: "I'll ask my missus". :lol: :lol: :lol:

[dhgeyer]

An insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic tried to have a sleepover. It didn't work. They were up all night arguing about whether there's a Dog.

[alanmcorcoran]

This was in an airport pot-boiler I read on the last Anaheim to Chicago flight (I can never remember jokes...)

A minister checking into a hotel notices they offer "adult tv"...

"I certainly hope the pornography channel in my room is disabled!"

"No, it's just regular pornography, you sick fuck!"

[Water Warrior 2]

This was in an airport pot-boiler I read on the last Anaheim to Chicago flight (I can never remember jokes...)

A minister checking into a hotel notices they offer "adult tv"...

"I certainly hope the pornography channel in my room is disabled!"

"No, it's just regular pornography, you sick fuck!"
Took me a moment to pick up on it. That is funny.

[Water Warrior 2]

If a man says something in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Had a T-shirt that said that. Apparently that was really wrong. Heh heh.

[burkbuilds]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "So, why the long face?"

[Easy Rider]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "So, why the long face?"

Because he found out that the answer to the question in the original post is YES. :shocked:

[Water Warrior 2]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "So, why the long face?"

Because he found out that the answer to the question in the original post is YES. :shocked:
:lol: :lol: The little woman is reading over your shoulder again isn't she.

[alanmcorcoran]

Found this one on another forum... not exactly hilarious, but it is the proper theme:

Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put the jacket on backwards." His friend advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out. A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?" "Well," the farmer explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"

[alanmcorcoran]

Okay, this one made me laugh...

A young man has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer. After picking out the perfect bike, the dealer asks if he would like some extra chrome protection added to the bill. The young man is upset because he does not have the extra money, and is now afraid that the chrome will rust as soon as it gets wet. The dealer tells him not to worry. There is an old biker trick that will keep the chrome like new. All he has to do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains - and everything will be fine. The young man happily pays for the bike and leaves.

A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointment time, he picks her up on his new Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up, so he reaches over and kisses the woman in front of her family. And no one says a word.......

Next he decides to take a more direct approach, so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And no one says a word.......

Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. And no one says a word........

By now he is getting very worried and is thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his new Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.

And the father says "I'll do the dishes!"

[music man]

Here's one for you guys....



Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days
before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him
he isn't going.
Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting
there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the
fire.
Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into
letting you go?
Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in
my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and
said, 'Guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new
nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had
candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, Do whatever you want.
So, Here I am.

[Easy Rider]

The little woman is reading over your shoulder again isn't she.

No, my online activity is one of the few things she doesn't try to control BUT she is the one who told me the right answer !! :roll:

[alantf]

You need to say this aloud.

Did you hear about the guy who thought an itchyfanny was a Japanese motor bike? :cry:

[dhgeyer]

You need to say this aloud.

Did you hear about the guy who thought an itchyfanny was a Japanese motor bike? :cry:

They also make a moped: the Puch-er (pronounced "pucker")