Thread pissing contests

[alanmcorcoran]

I suppose to some extent that some participation is better than no participation, but I wanted to state (for just me personally, obviously) I do NOT find the endless bickering over who said what and how they said it and who is a jerk, etc. that a lot of these threads descend into amusing. It's not only a waste of time when I click to read these new "posts" but I also think it discourages (new) people from participating and reduces our little community to the same half dozen voices.

I realize that by posting this, I am inviting the exact sort of activity I am asking to cease, but it seems lately, some people are suggesting that this is a "fun" thing that we all consider some sort of badge of honor. In my case, I think it doesn't add much to the site.

To be clear, I am not talking about the good natured teasing (of Sarris and his Harley or me and my Yamaha) or people voicing their various beliefs on pipes, ATTGATT, etc. I'm talking more about the personal vitriol that goes on and on and no one seems to be man enough to stop responding.

[Sarris]

:plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1: :plus1:

[mrlmd1]

I feel the same way, but I also don't especially like being attacked or demeaned if I ask for someone, anyone, to explain a post they made to educate me as well as everyone else, instead of just accepting what is sometimes really spouted-out bullshit and opinion rather than factual knowledge. I'll try and let that stuff slide but it's not always correct, and if you guys want to accept that kind of stuff as gospel, then go right ahead. And FYI, I didn't start this whole thing, it came about somewhere over a year ago in a discussion about batteries where you know who just had to put in a valueless comment that was not only inappropriate but wrong, as well as derogatory, and it pops up again every once in a while. That same thing has been directed at others too, some people either let it slide or are intimidated and don't fight back. Am I the only one who finds this behavior objectionable? I try and stand up for myself and will not tolerate that kind of behavior. Maybe I'll just vacate this forum and let you have him to yourself if you think that behavior is OK. He has been chastised on other forums too and banned from one. This is the last I have to say about this, I'm sure he'll respond in some nasty way, then it's done.

FYI- from another forum, same complaints from a number of members:
Originally Posted by Apertureguy View Post
that's what we need...an emote of someone beating a dead horse.

and the next response
hey that "smilie" reminds me of a lot of ER's arguments towards everything


Goodbye.

[dhgeyer]

I've participated in an awful lot of forums (fora?) over the last 15 years. There are always people who want or need to get into personal arguments. It seems the Internet doesn't always bring out the best in people.

I have been attacked pretty vigorously for my attitude sometimes, including early on in my participation in this forum by the same guy you keep tangling with. I've learned. Fighting back - defending your honor - trying to save face - or whatever you are trying to do never works. If you want people to respect you, the best thing you can do is to not respond in kind when personally attacked. People will always respect you more if you keep your mouth shut in those situations, hard though that may be.

ER and I are friends now. I'm glad I played it the way I did, and have in a couple of other cases with other people as well. It always works out better if you keep it positive, feel free to state your opinion on matters of substance, but never let it get personal, at least from your point of view.

[music man]

Maybe I'll just vacate this forum and let you have him to yourself if you think that behavior is OK. He has been chastised on other forums too and banned from one. This is the last I have to say about this, I'm sure he'll respond in some nasty way, then it's done.

Goodbye.


I don't think you leaving is going to solve anything, so I would ask that you not do that, not that my one opinion probably matters to you but...

[Water Warrior 2]

Yeah, stuff happens. In a perfect world it wouldn't but we don't live in a perfect world. None of us will ever be perfect but please lets try to be a little more civil to each other. Talking face to face with some one we do tend to say regretable things and can't take them back. Online we have the option of reading our words before posting and should give more thought to what we write and say to one another. The GZ forum is a one of a kind on this planet so let's not mess it up.
Before I enter any post I generally read it for context and check for oops'. I do try to read all posts with a smile on my face, yeah it does help but the odd time I really would like to smack some one. So I will do this: deep breath, hold it, count to 5....................one.....two.....three.......a n anudder one........an anudder one..........exhale. Now I can carry on. Works for me.

[blaine]

I don't think you leaving is going to solve anything, so I would ask that you not do that, not that my one opinion probably matters to you but...

:plus1:

[Viirin]

I've participated in an awful lot of forums (fora?)


Haha - fori maybe? maybe not, I don't English so good

[mrlmd1]

I hear what all of you are saying, it's better sometimes to let it slide, but when it continues I don't believe in ignoring piss-poor behavior. If it's ignored, it's like rewarding it because then it gets perpetuated because there is no punishment. You don't raise or treat your kids that way, I'm sure you don't tolerate that from them. Yeah, we're supposedly adults, but I think someone should be called out on this kind of thing that goes way beyond teasing, it's just nasty, so maybe it would stop if enough others find it objectionable. I'm not the only one on here who has been the brunt of this and this is not the only site he's on on which this occurs. But I will try to be less critical and maybe a little more tolerant, but will still excersize my right to call anyone out when I think they went over the line and are abusive. Anyone else is free to do this at any time, to whomever they feel acts that way. We'll see what happens and how this goes.

[burkbuilds]

Someone once wrote (this advice was about raising teenagers but it may still apply in general) that you should "pick your battles carefully and make certain that the

ones you choose to fight are actually worth fighting." (In respect to teenagers they also recommended that if you chose to fight you better win.)

I'd say that most of the "fighting" on here probably isn't worth the effort, just let it go. I really like this site over all, the petty stuff gets annoying sometimes though.

[bonehead]

I have'nt been on as much as in the past. But seems like when I do return and read the posts, there's always an argument in at least one of them. Anyway, I've done everything to the GZ I'm going to do, Just waiting for finances to get in order so I can get rid of it and get a larger bike.
I'll pop on every once in a while to see if I can contribute. Most of the time the Q has been answered.
Peace,
Bone

[dhgeyer]

I hear what all of you are saying, it's better sometimes to let it slide, but when it continues I don't believe in ignoring piss-poor behavior. If it's ignored, it's like rewarding it because then it gets perpetuated because there is no punishment.

The problem with that reasoning is that, by responding in a negative personal way, you are not punishing the person. You are rewarding them. That's what they want you to do. That's what they need you to do. The best way to "punish" them is to ignore them, and let them look foolish, hostile, and sick in front of everyone else, which they do. By responding at their level, you legitimize their behavior, give them the sick pleasure they want, and make them look less foolish. That's been my observation anyway.

[dhgeyer]

I have'nt been on as much as in the past. But seems like when I do return and read the posts, there's always an argument in at least one of them. Anyway, I've done everything to the GZ I'm going to do, Just waiting for finances to get in order so I can get rid of it and get a larger bike.
I'll pop on every once in a while to see if I can contribute. Most of the time the Q has been answered.
Peace,
Bone

Good luck, Godspeed, and ride safe!

[music man]

I hear what all of you are saying, it's better sometimes to let it slide, but when it continues I don't believe in ignoring piss-poor behavior. If it's ignored, it's like rewarding it because then it gets perpetuated because there is no punishment. You don't raise or treat your kids that way, I'm sure you don't tolerate that from them. Yeah, we're supposedly adults, but I think someone should be called out on this kind of thing that goes way beyond teasing, it's just nasty, so maybe it would stop if enough others find it objectionable. I'm not the only one on here who has been the brunt of this and this is not the only site he's on on which this occurs. But I will try to be less critical and maybe a little more tolerant, but will still excersize my right to call anyone out when I think they went over the line and are abusive. Anyone else is free to do this at any time, to whomever they feel acts that way. We'll see what happens and how this goes.


While I agree with this statement to a certain extent, I also have to say that while I realize that Your and Easy Rider's Latest Argument seems to be the the one that set this thread in motion, I don't think that AlanC was just pointing the finger at you two when he started this thread.

I will also say that being a perpetrator of a few of these threads that have devolved into pissing matches, it is human nature to let your emotions get the better of you sometimes and its going to keep happening. What I would ask is from now own, the very second you (not you personally, but just in general) feel you want to say something inflamatory towards someone, open up a new thread in this very section of the forum and let the flaming begin. That way any members that don't want to read it, don't have to. :2tup:

[mrlmd1]

BB, Dhg, and MM - good comments and advice, I'll take it as such and I know what AC was trying to do. Like I said, we'll see what happens and how it goes, but the abrasiveness of comments has to stop in response to another's post. For everyone. :)

[ArizonaKev]

My ex-wife was going to join this forum til she read your post - thanks alan!!! :lol:

Mama always told me "Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff." Ok, so it wasn't mama who said it, but the idea is there. The rule I try to live by is 'would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy?' 99.998 percent of the time, I would rather be happy. So if someone posts something that contradicts something I wrote, or admonishes me for something, I just take it with an "Eh, whatever," and let it go. Why let that person rent space in my head? I have enough of that type of crap in my day to day - sure don't want to experience in this, or any forum.

I think the best advice given (actually it was all pretty good) was to simply take the arguments to this section of the forum, where they belong - "Opinions". And as far as trying to "punish" someone, I just don't see how that can ever work in this type of format. Now if I could reach through that ethernet cable and grab someone by the ear, wellll.... :biggrin:

I guess I have been blessed to get along with everyone here, probably because I have made a conscious choice to do so. Or maybe just from dumb luck. Either way, I am grateful, and hope that no one leaves because of this stuff.

Can't we all just get along??? :retard: (HORRIBLE cliche' I know - but hopefully someone got a smile out of it)

Ride safe all.

AZ Kev

[3-D Video]

Dang, Kev! I was going to say that :)
Anyway, no one hi-jacked or dominated the ethanol thread (being used here as an example). There are enough people on this list, I'm sure one would have said "take it to Opinions list, fellas" should that have happened… I see a lot Sturm und Drang here, but I fail to see a problem.

[Easy Rider]

I see a lot Sturm und Drang here, but I fail to see a problem.

I agree with Alan 100%.....which some may find surprising and a few may not be able to believe.
In keeping with the spirit of his "observation" I will take this opportunity to.......not comment further.
Some of the earlier posts in this thread speak loudly for themselves.