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mrlmd1
12-19-2009, 10:14 AM
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',

Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

burkbuilds
12-19-2009, 09:22 PM
LOL, very nice!

5th_bike
12-20-2009, 08:18 PM
Found these elsewhere: :popcorn:

"Tiger drives well in the fairway but does not fare well in the driveway"

"What were Tiger and his wife doing out at 2:20 am? They went clubbing."

"Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife."

"So..... Tiger hit a fire hydrant AND a Tree... guess he couldn't decide between an iron and a wood."

"What is the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards"

"From now on, Tiger will no longer be known as TIGER. He has changed his name to CHEATAH"

"What do Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common?
They both get clubbed by Norwegians"

http://s2.postimage.org/1fas0A.jpg (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Ts1fas0A)

Water Warrior 2
12-20-2009, 08:34 PM
Tiger may be the world's best golfer but nobody will remember that when they hear his name.